Caution - In Love

In two months I will have been single for a year. That is an honest goal I made for myself. And though the road has been difficult it has been rewarding. I learned that love was not at all what I use to think it was. And it turns out I never really loved anyone in a romantic or passionate way. I loved the people I was in a relationship with because I came to know them so well; I cared for them like any person would when they get to know someone well. The things I liked about them were similar to the things I liked about acquaintances. The way I loved them was in the way I can sometimes appreciate a hot summers day.
My feelings were real; but not what I thought they were. For when we parted ways I was always heartbroken, not at the lose of a person, but at the lack of fulfillment by my side. Anyone could replace them. Another hot summer day could come along and cure that pain. It was never specific to the individual that I had parted with; only the empty space they left behind. I learned to fill that space with, real, hot summer days, and if the day was cold; I'd fill it with the joy of family, and if family was away, I would fill it with the peace of music.
Eventually I discovered that there was never an empty space. I just did not know how to appreciate all that was around me. The pain that caused me was soothed with a selfish placebo in the form of a never satisfying monogamist relationship, with a guy.
Like I said there is no empty space, no gape, no lack of fulfillment. I have learned and am still learning to accept, appreciate, and love the positive in every situation. And to love all of the amazing people, nature, music, and art that is truly everywhere. All you have to do is let your ego go, stop being selfish, stop being scared, and live. Throw yourself off balance and learn from it. It's not always about being balanced but proving that you can balance yourself through anything.
The love I've found is so real and freeing. I will try not to fall back in to my old false belief of love as I fall in love with, nature, family, and friends all over again. And as I fall in love with a person passionately and romantically .. for the first time.